Los Angeles, California

A few weeks ago, LeBron James’ playoff mode was “activated”. Since that stretch, the Lakers have gone for two wins in seven opportunities, including impressive losses against the Suns and the Pelicans.

Things are different this time, swears LeBron. “It’s for real activated this time I was just playing before, y’all know me I like to keep things light around here”. Los Angeles couldn’t be more ready, with their playoff chances dwindling with every loss to teams that have given up on the season already. How does LeBron plan to activate for real this time?

“I’ve decided to announce that I’m going totally ghost on y’all. I’m not going to be on social media or even talk to anyone in the media for at least 12 hours. Sometimes there’s sacrifices to be made to win in this league, and I know that, I’m only thirteen points away from passing MJ and I’m very humbled, I’m just a kid from Akron… oh yeah, I know how to win.”

James’ proclamation of abstinence from the spotlight comes at a shock to the entire Lakers organization and the community at large. Lakers guard Josh Hart was seen by his locker with a blank stare – when we approached he said “It can’t be right… something’s not right”.

James insists he will stay away from the public spotlight except for the pre and postgame interviews for over half of a day. Memo to the rest of the league: watch out.